Mom’s Write: Getting Rid of the Domestic Diva Mentality

If you have a clean house 100% of the time, write for hours a day, work full-time, spend most of your time chasing young children,  and have all of your laundry folded and put away, then this post probably isn’t for you.

But if you feel like something is always not getting done, then let’s talk. It’s time for us to get rid of our domestic diva mentality.

True Confession

I love a spotless house. When I was single, I had a condo. It took me an hour to really clean it. It was pretty and sparse. Not anymore. One cannot walk through my house without getting a toe injury from a Matchbox car. If you look under my couch, you’ll see dust bunnies. It irritates me, but you know what irritates me more? Not having time to write.

I have friends who have beautifully spotless houses and have young kids. They fall into one of two categories: 1) they spend most of their free time keeping it that way, or 2) they pay someone to clean for them. Both situations are fine, but neither describes my situation.

Banish Perfection

Would I love to have a spotless house? Sure. But the reality is that I can spend a huge chunk of time constant cleaning or I can spend time writing. I gave up the domestic dive dream because I like writing better.

We clean, but ten minutes later, it looks like we didn’t. I’ve accepted imperfection.

In LEAN IN, a book I highly recommend for all women, Sheryl Sandberg says, “Trying to do it all and expecting that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfection is the enemy.” Later in that same chapter, she says, “Instead of perfection, we should aim for sustainable and fulfilling.”

People who love you will still love you even if you have a few dust bunnies. If I know someone is coming over, I straighten up. If I don’t know they’re coming, then they should expect to see this:

I’ve realized everything is not going to be perfect, but I’m trying to find what it is sustainable and fulfilling for my family.

Unexpected Bonuses

My less-than-perfect house has been a source of stress at times. However, it has brought some unexpected surprises. My messy house has become a source of inspiration of two picture books, yet unpublished. And even funnier, someone else’s messy house was the source of inspiration for another book I wrote. I hope one day these books will make their way into the world. Maybe I can hire someone to clean my house with the royalties.

What about you? Do you embrace the domestic diva mentality or disown it?